The Circle Opens...

For most of my first 30 years I followed a strictly Christian belief system. In my mid to late 20s, through circumstances and revelations, I became somewhat disenchanted with organized religion. A friend encouraged me, as an open-minded individual who was searching for something else, to look into Wicca. At the time, immersed in the dogma of the Church, it terrified me. On my journey over the next few years my belief system was shaped into eclectic mix it is today. The "eclectic" part is a topic for another blog.

I don't think that just because my belief system includes things other than the rigid teachings you receive in church that it precludes the major themes of Christianity (or any other religion, for that matter). The main difference, I suppose, is that you'll never hear someone who describes themself as "Pagan" to ever tell you they have the "only true way".

Now, about ten years along on my path, I understand the concept of Wicca much better, although it is still not the path for me. I find it too regimented and have often called it the Catholicism of Paganism. No knock against those who are Wiccan, of course....whatever works for you. It just didn't work for me.

A little background on the circumstances that started my journey (of course, I was ready for change and searching for something....these things just moved me along):

When I was about 19 or 20 I took a group of dancers to Virginia Beach for a competition. On the way back home we stopped in Washington, D.C. As I stood by the Washington Monument and looked across that little square lake thingie (what do they call that, anyway?) at the Lincoln Memorial, I had the most haunting sense of deja vu I'd ever experienced. I'm not talking that little "Whoa!" you sometimes feel.....I'm talking about actually being rocked by a certainty you've been somewhere you KNOW you've never been. I had the most disturbing feeling that I'd spent a lot of time gazing at quite a similar scene (obelisks, lake, columed building) out of a window or through a doorway, and yet it wasn't quite the same scene. I asked my mom when I got home if I had been there perhaps as a child and forgotten. I hadn't, of course.

Years later, in my late 20s, during an evening out with my mom, we had a discussion of religion, psychics, reincarnation, and the like. Just before that evening out I had done as much research online as I could, for reasons I can't even remember. We discussed reincarnation as an interesting possibility, something fun to think about. I told her what I'd read about soul groups, how interests in this lifetime may point towards previous lives, memories that don't seem to be attached to anything in this lifetime, and the reasons for memories surfacing. Perhaps something in the lifetime tugging at your subconscious is relevant to this lifetime, for instance. All in all, it was simply a good discussion....you know, the kind that really makes you THINK.

My whole life I've been hugely interested in Greek mythology. My favorite stories were The Iliad and The Odyssey. I chose the screen name (and later Craft name) Circe for that reason. It would seem likely that eventually my interest would expand to include Roman mythology as the two are so similar, as well as because I'm Italian. Oddly enough, it was Egyptian mythology and history that captured my attention and took over to the point where it was almost an obsession.

Two other things also came into play as I learned more. For as long as I can remember, I've automatically looked for the constellation Orion when winter came. It always made me smile, and each year I felt regret when it dipped back over the horizon in April. Second, I've always had an aversion to birds. I simply don't like them. We were fishing during this time and my then husband pointed out a blue heron wading at the edge of the water. It absolutely took my breath away. It was just the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I spent a few minutes wondering why in the world I was so taken by this heron.

Okay, on to the good stuff. I know, I know.....I ramble. A short while later I had an opportunity for a free "first impression" from a psychic. Yes, I know....I thought it was a crock, too. I figured with the screen name Circe and one of my major interests being Greek mythology, it was fairly certain she was going to tell me I'd lived in ancient Greece. I had done it on a whim thinking it would be a lark. The psychic told me she saw me in ancient Egypt. I thought to myself....Well, I'll glance at a few locations in Egypt I know of and then I'll let it go. This was at a time when I was interested much more in the mythology of the ancient Egyptians than the history, and very shortly before the point where it became an obsession. I looked up Philae, which is absolutely beautiful, and Giza, with the familiar pyramids that everyone has seen in photos or movies or books at some point in their lives. I then looked up the temple of Karnak at Luxor, the present day site of the ancient religious capital of Thebes. I had never before (at that point) seen pictures of Karnak, and the sight of the obelisks, the sacred lake, and the coulmned temples just about knocked me off my chair. Seriously. I scrambled to look through old photos to find my pictures of D.C., because at THAT moment, all I could think was: THIS is what I was remembering all those years ago.

Already at that point in my self-discovery I had come to the conclusion that other people could believe whatever the heck they wanted to, but nothing on the gods' green Earth could convince me that I had never been to Karnak. In fact, I was immediately and completely certain I'd spent a LOT of time there.

During the research and studying that followed, I came across a story about the connection between the constellation Orion and the Egyptian story of Osiris. By the way, organized-religion-Christian-type people should read up on the Osiris/Isis/Horus story. The parallels between that and the story of Christ are striking. Anyway, without getting into too much history and boring the hell out of you, the ancient Egyptians believed that the god Osiris dwelled in the constellation of Orion. As each pharaoh was believed to embody the physical spirit of Osiris, it was thought that upon their death they went on to spend eternity with Osiris. I don't mind telling you that whole Orion/Osiris thing gave me chills. There is also a theory on the pyramids and their correlation with the constellation of Orion. An aerial view of the pyramids can be placed over a photograph of the three stars of Orion's belt and they match perfectly.

In the same book as the above mentioned pyramids/Orion correlation, the Egyptian myth regarding the phoenix is examined. Did you know that the Egyptians portrayed the phoenix as.....are you ready?....you guessed it, a heron.

I have come much further down this path since I took the first tentative steps, and my belief system is also a topic for another blog. This is the crux of what started me moving, though.

I've come to truly appreciate others' spiritual beliefs, even if I don't necessarily agree with them, and the diversity of spiritual practices among even different Pagans. I'm more than happy to inform, answer questions, discuss, etc. I love to discuss aspects of all religions, and I believe each person should follow their own path and what is right for them. In that same sense, please don't email me to witness to me (or tell me I'm going to hell). I'm not interested in being converted (or worse, "saved"). It's not a tenet of this path to convert others, and we don't particularly enjoy having others try to convert us.

An additional note: Pagans do not actively seek converts. We are willing to inform when asked, and training is available in varying degrees of formality. Some people know from an early age they are Pagans; others come to Paganism later in life as adults, many having been raised in other traditions. There are also many people who practice what we call Witchcraft without knowing what it is or that there are others like them. Being a Pagan or a Witch is a matter of symbol and intent.